The Time Has Come
by The Clockwork Angel
Summary: When Pauline suggests that Halt retire, Halt is left to ponder what the Ranger Corps means to him and how his legacy will remain.


The Time Has Come

It was Pauline who had initiated talk of retirement. Though the thought had been nagging at Halt for quite a bit of time, he had not allowed the saddening notion to come to the forefront of his mind. But when Pauline murmured the fateful words over the couple's quiet dinner, Halt knew that attempting to avoid the looming inevitable was a waste of energy, something he seemed to have less and less of as days turned into weeks and months. His body had been screaming what his mind refused to acknowledge: he was simply too old to continue his once adventurous and active lifestyle.

_The roast was divine. Cooked medium-rare and served with a side of vegetable medley, it was one of Pauline's finest dishes. Though he was never able to get fully accustomed to living in the palace apartment they shared, Halt had absolutely no difficulty adjusting to Pauline's cooking. Her skill in the kitchen made his savory stew seem a mediocre creation of the past, nothing but an unlamented memory. Now, with his plate piled high and his glass full of a rich, red wine, Halt could only appreciate yet another beautiful talent inhabiting his gifted wife. Appreciating the food meant there was very little verbal accompaniment to their meal, and each side of the small, rectangular table ate in a peaceful and companionable silence._

_As Halt wrapped his wrinkling fingers around his glass, Pauline lifted her utensils and cut herself a small bite of her roast. Halt brought the wine-filled glass to his lips, his taste buds readying themselves for a bath in divine goodness; Pauline poked her bite of meat with her fork and slowly brought the savory morsel to her lips. Just as the wine touched Halt's tongue, Pauline suddenly stopped, gently placing her fork back on her plate. Curious, Halt furrowed his brow and finished his sip, placing his glass back on the table and dabbing his mouth with the fabric of his napkin. Pauline continued to stare at her plate, obviously deep in thought. Halt waited patiently; he knew Pauline had something to say, and would come about doing so in her own time. He was rewarded only seconds later with those heart-wrenching words._

"_I think the time has come for you to retire." Despite her seemingly-calm demeanour, the words seemed to spill out of Pauline's mouth with urgency, as if they were water and she were choking on them. Halt's first reaction to the statement was to simply blink, unable to form an immediate response within his mind. Admittedly, the statement had caught him off-guard; though he had known that this conversation would eventually arise, he hadn't thought it would be over dinner on a quiet summer evening. He had imagined talk of retirement coming about in the wintertime, while both he and Pauline sipped from mugs of thick, dark coffee in front of a blazing fire. He was willing to admit that this scenario was a tad bit of a fantasy. But right here, right now, the dreaded words had been uttered, and time could not travel in reverse. The words could not be coaxed backwards into Pauline's mouth. _

_Logically, Halt understood his wife's line of thought. In fact, if he were truly honest with himself, he would say he even shared it. But despite having spent a lifetime using logic and reason to make life-or-death decisions, his emotions simply refused to be ignored in this particular matter. Though he would never admit it to anyone other than Pauline, he felt a deep connection to the Corps, as if the organization embodied him, and vice versa. "Retiring" meant turning his back on something he loved, something he had dedicated his entire adult life to nurturing and strengthening. The Corps had been in tatters when he had first stepped foot in Araluen, its members about as effective as young children. But with his and Crowley's hard work, effort, care, and time, the Ranger Corps had become the respected organization of highly-trained professionals that it was today. Retiring from his position as a Ranger felt like a man retiring from fatherhood once his son grew up._

_But, just as a father's work is never done, even when his children are grown, Halt would always be a Ranger, whether he was officially in the Corps or not. It was simply part of his identity, and the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he himself would always be a part of the Corps's identity. So many of his ideas and so much of his personality had been infused within the organization, its customs and its members included. For heaven's sake, the Corps's yearly Gathering used to be a public ordeal, nothing more than a facade used to mask the disintegrating authority within it. Halt had introduced the air of mystery that currently surrounded its fifty members, and with this air of mystery came a tinge of fear. Though his intention was not to frighten the general public, he knew from his days as a Hibernian prince that some fear was necessary in building a strong reputation. His father had ruled justly, but not without an iron fist. That trait had been infused within Halt at a very young age, and had carried itself out into the Ranger Corps. _

_Logically, and maybe emotionally, Halt shared his wife's line of thought. The more he pondered his formal departure from the Corps, the more he realized that the Corps itself would never be able to part from him, and that made him feel just a tiny bit better. The rules and regulations he had enacted as the Corps's second-in-command would frustrate every new apprentice for decades to come, and he had to admit that he quite liked frustrating the youngsters._

_Halt was unsure how long he sat at the small dinner table, pondering his future as a retiree. But it must have been some length of time, as Pauline was scrutinizing his face with raised eyebrows. Hastily, Halt cleared his throat and addressed his concerned partner._

"_Yes, I do believe you're right."_

That had been months ago, and to this day, Halt still told himself that though his decision had been difficult to reach, it had been the correct one. Now, sitting in front of a blazing fire with a delicious mug of coffee in his wrinkled hands, he looked over at his wife, and marveled at how she always knew more about him than he knew about himself. 


End file.
